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1:15 pm
March 8, 2010
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This is something that I have been mulling over for a bit, I thought I'd post and get some other opinions. I looked through the forum and did not see a similar post, if I missed it, my apologies. So here goes.
Alexis is at an age where romance, sex, drugs, independence etc…are all kinda coming to the forefront as parental concerns for Castle. This has me wondering about how he squares his own checkered past with his hopes and expectations for Alexis. More specifically, how does he think about how he wants Alexis to behave and how he wants boys to treat her given the things that he has done and the casual way he treats women.
We know that he has a pretty casual attitude toward sex and women for himself. Now, IMO, a lot of that is part of the Castle persona that he projects, but in a way it's a bit of a double standard as it pertains to Alexis. Or perhaps Alexis is out of the loop for most of it. We know that Ellie Monroe was around when Alexis was out of town. Maybe he dates, has sex etc… out of her line of sight. That might be true, but Alexis has made several comments that make me believe that she's absolutely aware of Castle's attraction to women and that he's a pretty easy mark for a pretty girl.
Should he be treating women the way that he wants Alexis to be treated? Is it a matter of do what I say and not what I do. Maybe it's just an adult child type of difference, that he feels that there is adult behavior that's OK for him, but not for his daughter. Does he have any regrets or have any desire to make changes to his behavior now that he is at the other end of the stick, so to speak, as a father? Does he even think about it at all?
Thoughts?
2:41 pm
January 15, 2010
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That's an intersting question, Leftfield.
I've read in numerous places that what a daughter learns in terms of her behavior in relationships and the way she expects to be treated by a man is often a result of the way a father treats her. So if her father loves and adores her and treats her with tremendous care and respect, she will expect the same out of a romantic relationship with a guy. If this holds true, then I think Castle has nothing to worry about, as he obviously loves her unconditionally and adores her.
I also think there is something to be said for looking at your parents and deciding that you want to copy them or do the opposite of what they do…in this case, Alexis has seen her father go though 2 marriages and be hurt…and date women casually…and she seems to worry about him and not think that he is particularly happy in the relationship department (as she talks about in Third Man), so I would see Alexis (by nature of her personality too) looking for relationships of substance and wanting something happy and stable.
In terms of Castle thinking about how his behavior and history impact Alexis in terms of these issues, I would guess he doesn't think about it much. He seems to try to keep his dating and hook-ups separate from Alexis (as he did with Ellie), and I don't think he is very deep or insightful about his dating behavior in relation to his daughter.
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3:02 pm
April 5, 2010
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Leftfield…..
This is kind of a hard topic to answer because my answer to all of the questions you posted was 'yes'………although all of the questions were contradictory. I think Castle does want his daughter to be treated and to act in a certain way. I think he does have regrets about his behavior. I think he does try to sheild her from any of his escapades while also putting it on display. I think it is a part of his persona. I think he does want her to do as he says and not as he does. I think he does think about it.
The fact is he seems to have been a pretty grounded guy before the fame as evidenced in A Rose Forever After. He was married to her mother although we don't know which came first, the baby or the marriage. Either way he attempted to have an ideal family set up. The marraige ended in divorce but he does still care about the Deep Fried Twinkie and she seems to be welcome in his home. The second marriage also ended in divorce which also seems to be more about the wife and not Castle. We have seen him flirt, mostly with Beckett, but also with other women. But in the two years since the series started he has only slept with two women, his ex-wife and the actress. That's only one up on Beckett, because I'm assuming she slept with Demming. So it seems that Castle's womanizing is more perceived than actual. It may be becuase he has a daughter but I think it's more because he's not that bad of a guy.
He'd probably pharmaceutical intervention if Alexis acted like him and his mother, though.
4:35 pm
October 26, 2009
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Leftfield said:
This is something that I have been mulling over for a bit, I thought I'd post and get some other opinions. I looked through the forum and did not see a similar post, if I missed it, my apologies. So here goes.
Alexis is at an age where romance, sex, drugs, independence etc…are all kinda coming to the forefront as parental concerns for Castle. This has me wondering about how he squares his own checkered past with his hopes and expectations for Alexis. More specifically, how does he think about how he wants Alexis to behave and how he wants boys to treat her given the things that he has done and the casual way he treats women.
We know that he has a pretty casual attitude toward sex and women for himself. Now, IMO, a lot of that is part of the Castle persona that he projects, but in a way it's a bit of a double standard as it pertains to Alexis. Or perhaps Alexis is out of the loop for most of it. We know that Ellie Monroe was around when Alexis was out of town. Maybe he dates, has sex etc… out of her line of sight. That might be true, but Alexis has made several comments that make me believe that she's absolutely aware of Castle's attraction to women and that he's a pretty easy mark for a pretty girl.
Should he be treating women the way that he wants Alexis to be treated? Is it a matter of do what I say and not what I do. Maybe it's just an adult child type of difference, that he feels that there is adult behavior that's OK for him, but not for his daughter. Does he have any regrets or have any desire to make changes to his behavior now that he is at the other end of the stick, so to speak, as a father? Does he even think about it at all?
Thoughts?
The problem is that we don't know much about the marriage to Deep Friend Twinkie or Gina. I assume Castle treated both women well for the most party- and any major probems, fights or whatever which lead to divorce wasn't happening when Alex was around. Just like his dating/ sleeping with women is done when Alex isn't around.
Alexis has a good relationship with her father & Grandmother so it's not like she is off looking for a father figure or anything. From what I see, poor Alexis may be at the other end of the spectrum where she places a lot of pressure on herself to be successful in school.
Also, I can't remember a situation on the show where Castle "mistreated" a women in front of Alexis. Clearly Alexis comes first, so again, I don't see this as a big issue yet.
5:12 pm
March 8, 2010
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I agree, I imagine that Castle treated both of his wives very well and I don't think he would ever "mistreat" a women. It just feels like his attitude toward romantic relationships is pretty casual, now I imagine that part of his attitude is a defence mechanism because of his failed marriages, but maybe I'm wrong. It's kind of a juxtaposition but even though he seems to have pretty casual attitudes toward women, he also has a lot of respect for them and treats them respectfully.
My parenting philosophy is to parent by example, so, as I see it, his behavior is in conflict with how he wants boys to treat Alexis. Now Alexis has a good head on her shoulders, and I imagine she is pretty observant regarding her father. I bet she can sort through the good, bad, and the ugly and find her own moral balance as to how she handles her personal relationships and how she expected to be treated by the opposite sex.
I can see that I'm rambling now, I hope this makes sense.
11:24 pm
July 25, 2009
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I could be mistaken, but didn't we learn in one of the earlier episodes that Castle's first divorce was because his wife cheated on him?
11:38 pm
March 8, 2010
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hdotmoss said:
I could be mistaken, but didn't we learn in one of the earlier episodes that Castle's first divorce was because his wife cheated on him?
Yep!
1:45 am
March 7, 2011
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I think that this happens a lot in real life. That's why Dad's are super protective of their daughters because they were teenage boys once. It's super unfortunate but there is forever a double standard. Alexis is incredibly mature, so I think she understands what it is that she deserves. Yes Castle is a bit of a playboy, however I think he is pretty respectful to women. If he weren't, Beckett wouldn't be into him at all (and we all know she is!).
1:08 pm
February 6, 2011
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I think of Richard and Alexis's relationship as being a lot like my own with my dad (except that my dad is married and doesn't… er… have Deep Fried Twinkies); Both Castle and my dad are like big kids at heart but also have their own grown-up element when they have to. Both of them expect anyone I have a relationship with to treat me well, as do I. I think their relationship has it's own give-and-take element (like Beckett and Castle's), it's just more playful and the parenting rolls seem a bit reverse for the majority of the time. Castle has found a way to be the best friend and the father at the same time without being too lax or too strict. He is, in essence, as perfect of a dad as I know I could look for (minus the DFT). << That might be a little biased, considering that would make him just like my own dad (no top-of-the-line laser tag [Image Can Not Be Found]), but that's just my two cents.
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1:17 pm
October 28, 2009
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MySafeWordisApples said:
I think that this happens a lot in real life. That's why Dad's are super protective of their daughters because they were teenage boys once. It's super unfortunate but there is forever a double standard. Alexis is incredibly mature, so I think she understands what it is that she deserves. Yes Castle is a bit of a playboy, however I think he is pretty respectful to women. If he weren't, Beckett wouldn't be into him at all (and we all know she is!).
the whole playboy image is just a front for promoting his books. we have all seen what the real richard castle is at home, and i think that is what alexis sees and knows that his public side of signing chests and riding police horses naked is just for show? or maybe castle uses this public image as some sort of defense mechanism or hiding place to cope with his two failed marriages… hopefully now that he has found beckett, he will continue to clean up his act.
but then again, i have no explanation for castle bringing ellie monroe home for their trysts, especially since he had a membership to that exclusive club with the "play room" that was made known to us a few episodes back…?
1:35 pm
January 15, 2010
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thumper said:
the whole playboy image is just a front for promoting his books. we have all seen what the real richard castle is at home, and i think that is what alexis sees and knows that his public side of signing chests and riding police horses naked is just for show? or maybe castle uses this public image as some sort of defense mechanism or hiding place to cope with his two failed marriages… hopefully now that he has found beckett, he will continue to clean up his act.
but then again, i have no explanation for castle bringing ellie monroe home for their trysts, especially since he had a membership to that exclusive club with the "play room" that was made known to us a few episodes back…?
Well, Alexis was out of town when Castle was "comforting" Ellie, so no need to use the play room those times.
I agree that the playboy image is largely show, but there are the occasions when Castle's casual relationship/fling habit is still suggested. It still made sense to me in Late Shaft when Alexis and Martha were watching Castle's TV appearance and discussing it, but I was confused by the reference to it in Countdown when Martha made horizontal gestures and Alexis responded with an "eww" (when they did not find Castle home on their return). Living with him and knowing him pretty well, you'd think they'd have seen the changes in him over the last year especially…a long-term relationship with Gina and some serious feelings for Beckett (keeping him at the precinct with her even when he is often in danger). That scene seemed really odd to me.
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1:55 pm
July 26, 2010
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dmcw said:
thumper said:
the whole playboy image is just a front for promoting his books. we have all seen what the real richard castle is at home, and i think that is what alexis sees and knows that his public side of signing chests and riding police horses naked is just for show? or maybe castle uses this public image as some sort of defense mechanism or hiding place to cope with his two failed marriages… hopefully now that he has found beckett, he will continue to clean up his act.
but then again, i have no explanation for castle bringing ellie monroe home for their trysts, especially since he had a membership to that exclusive club with the "play room" that was made known to us a few episodes back…?
Well, Alexis was out of town when Castle was "comforting" Ellie, so no need to use the play room those times.
I agree that the playboy image is largely show, but there are the occasions when Castle's casual relationship/fling habit is still suggested. It still made sense to me in Late Shaft when Alexis and Martha were watching Castle's TV appearance and discussing it, but I was confused by the reference to it in Countdown when Martha made horizontal gestures and Alexis responded with an "eww" (when they did not find Castle home on their return). Living with him and knowing him pretty well, you'd think they'd have seen the changes in him over the last year especially…a long-term relationship with Gina and some serious feelings for Beckett (keeping him at the precinct with her even when he is often in danger). That scene seemed really odd to me.
It seemed odd to me too. Just like when we learned about the play room thing. I don't know, I would have found that kind of thing "normal" for Castle in the first two seasons. But it just seems weird and maybe not that much in character in season 3. His relationship with Gina was pretty important to him in the first half of the season. And I doubt he was going to that play room at that time. I doubt he did it after either, considering the fact that his feelings for Beckett are even stronger now than before. So… yeah… odd.
That being said, I'm glad we haven't seen Castle sleep with anyone in season 3, so far. Apart from Gina of course. But I'm glad he didn't do what he did with Meredith in season 1 and Ellie Munroe in season 2. And I was glad that he didn't sleep with Natalie Rhodes either. So… there is some pretty big progression in him, but at the same time we still have those little references to his flirting habits… [Image Can Not Be Found]
2:05 pm
October 28, 2009
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in castle's defense, the receptionist at the club did say something along the lines of not having seen castle come to the club for a long time. i can't remember if there was a specific timeframe though, so i am not sure how it coincides with his time with beckett.
2:17 pm
March 8, 2010
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MissWanderer said:
dmcw said:
thumper said:
the whole playboy image is just a front for promoting his books. we have all seen what the real richard castle is at home, and i think that is what alexis sees and knows that his public side of signing chests and riding police horses naked is just for show? or maybe castle uses this public image as some sort of defense mechanism or hiding place to cope with his two failed marriages… hopefully now that he has found beckett, he will continue to clean up his act.
but then again, i have no explanation for castle bringing ellie monroe home for their trysts, especially since he had a membership to that exclusive club with the "play room" that was made known to us a few episodes back…?
Well, Alexis was out of town when Castle was "comforting" Ellie, so no need to use the play room those times.
I agree that the playboy image is largely show, but there are the occasions when Castle's casual relationship/fling habit is still suggested. It still made sense to me in Late Shaft when Alexis and Martha were watching Castle's TV appearance and discussing it, but I was confused by the reference to it in Countdown when Martha made horizontal gestures and Alexis responded with an "eww" (when they did not find Castle home on their return). Living with him and knowing him pretty well, you'd think they'd have seen the changes in him over the last year especially…a long-term relationship with Gina and some serious feelings for Beckett (keeping him at the precinct with her even when he is often in danger). That scene seemed really odd to me.
It seemed odd to me too. Just like when we learned about the play room thing. I don't know, I would have found that kind of thing "normal" for Castle in the first two seasons. But it just seems weird and maybe not that much in character in season 3. His relationship with Gina was pretty important to him in the first half of the season. And I doubt he was going to that play room at that time. I doubt he did it after either, considering the fact that his feelings for Beckett are even stronger now than before. So… yeah… odd.
That being said, I'm glad we haven't seen Castle sleep with anyone in season 3, so far. Apart from Gina of course. But I'm glad he didn't do what he did with Meredith in season 1 and Ellie Munroe in season 2. And I was glad that he didn't sleep with Natalie Rhodes either. So… there is some pretty big progression in him, but at the same time we still have those little references to his flirting habits… [Image Can Not Be Found]
I wonder if some of the references and things that are brought up are a way to contrast what he was with what he is now. And also maybe some commentary about how hard it might be to change that image of him that people have.
The reference to the "playroom" came with the information that he hasn't been around to use it much. So maybe it's a way to illustrate that he used to be a guy who might have used a playroom in the past, but since his association with Beckett, he's not that guy anymore.
As to Martha and Alexis' comments in Countdown, odd, yes, but it might also go to show how ingrained perceptions and reputations get. Even though Martha and Alexis probably can see the growth and changes in Castle, they may not have that certainty that his "flirty" ways are completely gone. It may be a rep that will be hard to shake even with those who know him best.
2:30 pm
January 15, 2010
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Leftfield said:
I wonder if some of the references and things that are brought up are a way to contrast what he was with what he is now. And also maybe some commentary about how hard it might be to change that image of him that people have.
The reference to the "playroom" came with the information that he hasn't been around to use it much. So maybe it's a way to illustrate that he used to be a guy who might have used a playroom in the past, but since his association with Beckett, he's not that guy anymore.As to Martha and Alexis' comments in Countdown, odd, yes, but it might also go to show how ingrained perceptions and reputations get. Even though Martha and Alexis probably can see the growth and changes in Castle, they may not have that certainty that his "flirty" ways are completely gone. It may be a rep that will be hard to shake even with those who know him best.
I completely agree that mention of the playroom in Final Nail was meant to convey to Beckett and viewers that Castle has changed. For that reason, the Countdown comments just a couple episodes later were even more confusing. But what you mention as a potential reason is a good possibility…heck, if Martha and Alexis can't get over that perception of Castle, Beckett will certainly have a ways to go. There is so much meaning given to little things in this show that it seemed there had to be a reason for that excuse for Castle being gone to be provided (unless it was simply meant to get a laugh to break the tension).
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