Hey everyone. I have this posted over at ff.net but I figured I'd just pop over here and share it with ya'll as well, because, as conceited as it sounds, I cracked myself up writing this and I'm quite proud of it. Hee hee, fun times.  (P.S. It's a parody by the way. Just FYI)

Kate Beckett loved Christmas. It reminded her of her childhood. The times when nothing was ever wrong. When nobody was murdered, she wasn't sitting at home, lonely, she didn't have to worry about anything because there were people who took care of everything…of her. She loved the smell of real Christmas trees, pumpkin pie, the fire place, and…Elmer's glue. Everyone has their off kilter traditions, and the Becketts were no exception. Ever since Kate could remember, she and her mom had made "GAK" every Christmas Eve. It was almost like super slimy silly putty. All it took to make was Elmer's glue, Borax, and a little food coloring and you had a cheap toy that would last all day long. She remembered playing with that stuff until it had dirt, hair, and food particles all in it and her mom made her throw it away. She remembered writing to Santa for a little brother or sister every year and being slightly disappointed yet also relieved every time it didn't happen. She remembered sitting, curled up, between her parents in front of the fire and listening to her dad read "Twas the Night Before Christmas" to her as she fell asleep, presents strewn everywhere. If only life could be that simple again. If only everything could just go back to the way it was. If only…Castle? Kate was jarred from her reverie when her phone started buzzing.

"Heeello?"

"Beckett?" Castle's voice came through louder than she expected and she reflexively pulled the phone from her ear.

"Um, yeah. You did call me didn't you?"

"Oh. No, it's just that…I…you usually just say 'Beckett.'"

She chuckled. "What's up Castle?"

"Well, as a matter of fact. I just wanted to tell you that I'm having a Christmas party at my house this weekend and that you should feel obligated to come."

"Obligated huh?" She was pushing a grocery cart through the store, trying not to collide with other shoppers.

"Yes…wait, is that 'A Holly Jolly Christmas' I hear Detective?" His delight was seeping through the phone.

"I'm at the store. So a party huh? What's the obligation?"

"Actually…still kinda workin' on that part. But feel free to be obligated anyway."

"Let me check my schedule," she said laughing.

"OK. Saturday, 7, my place. I have a sneaking suspicion that your calendar is empty."

"Oh, do you now? Goodbye Castle. I'll try to make it."

"I know you'll be there." They both hung up.

Kate couldn't help but smile as she walked through the store. She made the decision right then and there, that she would find something for each of her coworkers. It didn't have to be anything expensive. She wasn't stingy but it wasn't like she had all kinds of money floating around either. The city didn't exactly let the money flow out like a river to all its employees. Plus, she used almost all of her check on her pimpin' wardrobe every payday. To be brutally honest, she didn't even know how she managed it. You'd think all of her nice clothes would cost a fortune but no! She wasn't the kind of person to rack up all kinds of debt and somehow, she always found a way feed her secret addiction. Shopping. Of course, she would never admit that to anybody, but just by the way she dressed, it wouldn't be hard to guess.

There wasn't really anybody at the precinct yet, when she arrived, so she took the opportunity to distribute her different packages to the appropriate desks before their owners arrived, not really being one to want a big show. After she was done, she made some coffee and sat down at her desk to do paperwork. Slowly people started to trickle in and the buzz of movement around the station picked up.

Ryan and Esposito came waltzing in, chipper and laughing. When they reached their respective desks, they found their gifts. Beckett pretended to not even notice, but she was secretly watching out of the corner of her eye. She heard some happy and slightly amused exclamations by her boys and they headed over to her desk.

"Yo Beckett!" Esposito came up and stood about ten inches away from where she was sitting. "Thanks for the baseball that you signed. I didn't realize you were in the MLB." He laughed, genuinely liking his present.

Ryan joined them, standing about six inches away from Esposito and facing his left shoulder. It was almost as if they were posing for a camera shot. He had a huge grin on his face.

"A tie with Santa and his reindeer on it? How do you know I don't already have one Beckett?"

"It was so you, that I was willing to risk it." She winked at him.

He held it up to his neck. "I do love it, but I don't know if I can wear it. Jenny might think you're treadin' on her turf." He tried his best to maintain a solemn expression but failed miserably. They all started laughing.

A very loud, "ho ho ho!" came floating across the room and they turned to look. Castle walked in with a Santa hat on his head and a bag full of fake snow that he was flinging everywhere. He was obviously in a very good mood and proclaiming it to the world. It even managed to draw Captain Montgomery out of his office. When he saw what Castle was doing, he yelled, "Beckett! Can you get that mad man to stop making a mess all over my precinct ? And keep it down out there!"

She and the boys tried to smother their snickering as Castle tiptoed over to them with a puppy-who-just-got-swatted look on his face. He delicately set his bag of "snow" on Beckett's desk and greeted them.

"Hey guys, thanks for letting me make a fool out of my…Oooo! Who's the present from?" He raised a teasing eyebrow at Kate and eyed the wrapped box that sat on her desk.

"From me." She smirked.

Castle looked puzzled. "You got yourself a present, wrapped it, and brought it to work?" She pursed her lips and turned her gaze innocently back to her computer, her head following behind her eyes and her fingers starting to type.

Esposito jumped in, "I think it's for you bro."

Beaming like a kid at Christmas, literally, Castle looked at the name tag. "For me!? You shouldn't have Detective!"

Kate only shrugged and kept typing, trying to reign in the smile that was betraying her.

Castle plopped down in the chair beside her desk and started tearing paper. He got the last of the wrapping off and said, "ooh! These are my favorite! How did you know?" Holding up a huge bag of lollipops and assorted other candies, he looked gleefully at Ryan and Esposito, saying, "shall we?" and they all headed off to the break room to bust open the goodies.

The three amigos were sitting around the table in the break room, sorting through the candy, and discussing movies. Ryan was the I-pretty-much-like-every-movie-I-see, guy in the group, while Esposito had a more "normal" opinion, and Castle was attempting to be the big critic who knew enough to know that there was something wrong with almost every movie.
"'The Notebook'? Really dude?" Esposito stopped arranging candy and looked at his partner.
"What? It was good!"

He rolled his eyes. "Can we move on to something a little less…chick flick?"

"OK, fine. Did you guys see 'The Spirit'?" Ryan looked between Castle and Esposito.

"Yeah I saw it," Esposito said. "Thought it was pretty cool lookin' but the plot was not that great. Eva Mendes and Scarlett Johansson though?" He gave a low whistle. "Right Castle?"

Castle set down his candy and looked thoughtful for a second. "The only thing that really did it for me in that movie was Morgenstern. She made the whole thing worth it, otherwise, I would have been sorely disappointed," he said, with a whimsical smile.

Ryan piped up, "You know who she reminded me of?"

Esposito glanced quickly out the break room window and tried to whisper, "don't say it," to Ryan but was too late.

"Beckett!" Ryan proclaimed just as she walked in the door.

"Yeah Ryan?"

"Oh, nothing," he said a little too quickly.

"Oooookay…" She raised an eyebrow.

"We were just saying how you remind us of Morgenstern from 'The Spirit,'" Castle said, while Ryan and Esposito tried to signal him not to. He was oblivious.

"Reeeaaally," Kate said with a hand on her hip.

Castle wore a silly smile. "Yep. You know, I wasn't planning on the Christmas party requiring costumes but now that I think about it…if you'd dress up like Morgenstern, I'd dress up as…or no! What if you dressed up as the chick who plays Morgenstern. You could be Santa Katic and wear a sexy little Mrs. Clause outfit…"

Beckett broke in, "don't you guys have work to do?" She looked at Ryan and Esposito.

They both jumped up, grabbing a few pieces of candy on the way out.

Looking guilty, Castle started gathering the candy in his arms. "You know, we were just about done here anyway…"

Kate laughed and said, "relax Castle. I'm just getting some coffee. I'm actually getting something done with you in here."

He looked wary. "Is this your twisted way of putting me in time out?"

"No."

Walking over to the coffee machine and pouring herself some coffee, she turned around, leaned against the counter and looked at him. She couldn't help but laugh inside at the way he was acting like child who was about to be spanked any minute. She smiled.

"Are you feeling okay Beckett? You're in an awfully good mood today," he said standing up and walking over to where she was.

"Yeah well, I'm allowed to be in a good mood if I want."

"But won't that like, bend the space-time continuum and suck us all into a black vortex of doom?"

"Oh come on Castle, you act like I'm some kind of angry person who's never cheerful."

"Well…" He shrugged.

"O-, seriously!?" Exasperated she said, "I'm in a good mood…sometimes. After all it is Christmas. At least give me a free pass for that."

"Christmas? Really. That's why you're in a good mood," he said doubtfully.

Kate only replied with laughter.

"What?"

"Nothing." She took a drink of her coffee. "I'm just always amused that people automatically assume I hate Christmas. And you of all people."

"Well, it kind of fits your persona."

Her jaw slacked a little. "My persona? What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's…nothing…just forget it." He smiled. "I'm glad you're in a good mood."

"Me too."

There was an amiable silence before Castle just had to open his mouth.

"Do you keep a toothbrush here or do you get sweaters on your teeth?"

"Excuse me?"

Chuckling he explained, "well, whenever I drink coffee, I have these funny sweaters on my teeth for the rest of the day until I brush them. You're always drinking coffee so I was just wondering if you…"

Not letting him finish she said, "what are you talking about Castle?"

"Nevermind."

The party was already in full swing when the doorbell rang and Castle hurried to answer it, sliding across the wood floor in his sock feet from two yards away.
"Hello, hello everyone! Merry Christmas!" He threw the door open wide letting Beckett, Lanie, and the boys in.
An assortment of, "hi's" and "what's up's" came back in return.

Castle offered his guests some drinks and they all started milling around and socializing. Alexis, who sort of had a little crush on Esposito stood and talked to him for a few minutes. He was polite but felt it would be somewhat more appropriate if he were talking to Lanie. He managed to make his way over to her and handed her a drink.

"Thanks Epsosito," she said, taking it from him.

"We're not at work, you can call me Javi." He grinned.

"How 'bout Javier?"

"That works too. So, what'd Beckett give you for Christmas?"

Lanie chuckled. "A martini shaker with…well, you don't want to know what was written on it."

"I probably don't," he said taking a drink and looking at her the whole time.

She broke eye contact and said, "so, Castle really knows how to throw one helluva party!"

"Right? I don't know why Beckett is always so reluctant to come to these. You know she has fun."

"Oh we both know why!" She smirked and they laughed.

"Well well well, looks like we have a couple of…actually just a couple. Care to share with the class?" Castle had made his way across the room to where they were talking, put a hand on each of their shoulders, and was now trying to hint at something.

Not giving him anything to build on, Lanie said, "Castle, why don't you go harass Beckett or something?" And with that, she walked away.

"Who put a bee in her bonnet?"

Esposito looked annoyed. "You did bro."

"Oh, sorry. Killin' your game? Don't worry, you'll have another shot. That is, if Alexis doesn't snag you first."

"Very funny…dude, can I ask you a sort of personal question?"

Castle looked over his glass at Esposito. "Shoot."

"Alexis has lived in Manhattan her whole life right? I mean, she grew up here…"

"Woah, woah! Slow down there big guy, I was kidding about Alexis. As much as I like you man, you're a little old for her."

Esposito was taken aback. "Oh! No! Bro, you are sick. That's not was I was sayin'. I was just gonna ask you how come she has the slightest hint of a southern accent if she's lived here all her life?"

Castle couldn't hold back his laughter. "You know? I've wondered that exact same thing myself! She watched a lot of 'Bonanza' and 'Gunsmoke' when she was little. I just tell myself that's what it is."

"Right." Esposito nodded soberly fully, accepting that answer because he now saw Lanie passing by and got distracted. "Hey, I'll catch you later." He was gone.

Castle weaved through the crowd to his office where he found one Detective Kate Beckett, walking around and looking at the titles of his books, drink in hand.

"Is the party really that bad?" She looked up at the sound of his voice.

"Oh. No! I just…you're quite the reader."

He smiled. "It seemed like the right thing to do, being an author and all."

"Ah, yeah." She nodded. "You're just with us so much I sometimes forget you're not a cop." She laughed.

"Really?" he said, beaming.

She walked around to where he was leaning against the door frame, a smile confirming her agreement.

"I learned from the best," he stated.

"You knew plenty before you ever met me."

"Wow. All these compliments. I don't know what to do with myself, I'm not used to it."

She rolled her eyes.

"But seriously, thanks for putting up with me. I've learned so much from you…from all of you."

"Don't expect me to ever admit to saying this but, I'm kinda starting to like having you around…it's like…having a golden retriever."

His face changed from being pleased to faux hurt.

She chuckled, looked up, and saw something hanging in the doorframe. "You have got to be kidding me!"

A mischievous smirk spread across his face. "Come on Beckett! It's Christmas!"

Once more rolling her eyes, she polished of her drink in one gulp and said, "Oh, what the hell!"

He almost squealed, "I LOVE CHRISTMAS!" and leaned in.

Yipee! That was fun! Since my actual attempt at a sober fic was an epic fail, instead, I kind of wanted this story to seem like it had a serious tone but yet, when you actually thought about what is was saying, it was more satirical. Only, I think it started slipping into pure comedy the further I got, but I was aiming for the former. Haha, sad. What say you, oh wise readers?

(Oh P.S. Has anyone else noticed how close together Ryan and Espo always stand? I mean, I know they have to both fit in the shot but come on cinematographers, you could maybe pull out a little or something…that's what she said. Lol. Not that I don't like them to stand close together, I just know there ain't no chance in…well, I don't stand that close to people.)

Very nice story. Had me chuckling.

Aww cute story!  I loved the Morgenstern reference too!  Very clever to include that…